LOVE is when you feel like crap...look like crap...are still in your pajamas at suppertime... Standing at the stove....not an ounce of makeup on...wild crazy hair....smudged glasses sliding down nose and your man comes up behind you....puts his arms around you and says how absolutely beautiful you look. All right in front of our kiddos. THIS is love.
So grateful for this man who put up with so many years of me being a train wreck. For so long, I had not an ounce of self worth. I lived in constant fear of rejection and failure. I struggled with depression. I had trust issues. I let anger build walls around my heart. I let my emotions control me. Then one day....we reached rock bottom in our marriage. And it was then that I realized I had a choice. I could continue to be the person I was and lose the love of my life or I could let God love me, change me and redeem our marriage.
Words will never be able to express how grateful I am that my man never gave up me thru those dark years. Tonight...standing in the kitchen...I am grateful that I really truly know what LOVE is. That I waited for a man who loved Jesus first before me... when all I wanted as a teenage girl was to find a wild cowboy and ride away into the sunset. I am grateful that we made the choice to surrender all our pain, selfishness, pride, past hurts and say, "We need help...we can't do this on our own." We took our broken, shattered hearts to God... then we went and got counseling and because of that... our kids are getting to see a father love their mother. They are getting to see a husband love his wife. Our kids have seen us make so many mistakes when it comes to this journey of life. But our kids have also seen the beauty of transparency... apologies... grace....and new mercies every morning. Our story is so imperfect and messy...but this will forever be our perfect message:
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." 1 Cor. 13
I encourage you tonight if you are hurting...have given up on love...have fear.... or struggling? God is love. And love never gives up. He won't give up on you. LOVE never gives up. And don't you give up either. It's worth the fight. You have it in you even when you can't feel it, smell it, or hear it. You were born to love and be loved. You are a warrior!!!
Sometimes our stories aren't what we thought they would be....but they are our story. We are the ones who decide how each page will read. Love is a choice. We can choose to hang on to all our pain or we can choose to give it to God. God is the only one who can take the broken pieces and put them all back together into a beautiful masterpiece. This is LOVE.