Monday, October 5, 2015

MONKEY STORY #728

My day in a nutshell:

Morning:
Aubrie: Mommy will you please come wipe my hiney. I'm having problems.
Me: Aubrie, you are old enough, you can wipe your own hiney now.
Aubrie: But Mommy...sometimes my arms just can't reach back there very far and I really can't see anything back there! That's a problem!
Me: Well, yeah, I think we all have that problem...just how long do you think I'm going to keep wiping your hiney for you anyhow???
Aubrie: {Complete serious face} Until I'm 16 or 17? I'll be driving a car then! So you don't have to wipe my hiney then.
Me: Dear Lord...give me strength for this blonde haired sassy pants child.

Afternoon:
Ellie: Hey, I just drew a picture of our house for Aunt Britney. Here's me doing my workout exercise that she taught me in the living room. Here's you, Mom....doing the laundry downstairs. Oh, and here's Daddy...he's sitting on the toilet in the bathroom.
Me: Um awkward?! Beautiful drawing honey...but maybe we should draw another picture for your Aunt Britney that doesn't include your Dad sitting on the toilet!?!?!?!?!?!
Ellie: {Uncontrollable giggling} Good idea Mom!

Evening:
Gabe: I really don't understand why men need little boobs things on their chest. Seriously...why Mom?
Me: Great question for God.