The week has been so up and down for me. Last Friday was when I dropped Ellie and God just gave me this good reminder that our children are only on loan to us. They are His which He "gifts" to us for a season. Fears start to crowd in when I stop and think about everything that could happen to the loved ones in my life. But we can't function and live life in fear and "what ifs."
This past week I spoke to 2 different mothers who lost their young sons recently. My heart aches so for them. My mind tries to grasp and comprehend what they are feeling. But I can't...because I haven't been there. I have been down the road of suffering but not that one. Selfishly, I don't want to....But God's will is perfect and beautiful even when I don't understand it.
I've read numerous blogs the past week about people losing their loved ones just in the last couple days. I just found out a classmate of mine was diagosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma and she's supposed to walk down the aisle to her fiance this fall. Why? Why God? Why do these things happen to good people? Another friend of mine is watching the love of her life slowly go downhill with a disease that they're still not sure of. I can keep going with a huge list of people in my life that are hurting and in pain from numerous things that I don't understand. People that I've talked to this week that make my heart ache while their's does the same.
Today Jason went to visit his Gramma and his siblings during Gabe's naptime. He offered to take Ellie with him so Gramma could see her. My first instinct was to keep her home. Somehow I trick myself into thinking that I can keep my kids safer than everyone else in the world. The thought went thru my mind as they left, what if that's the last time I ever see them? What if they get in an accident and I lose my husband and my daughter?
Then I read Lysa TerKeurst's Blog today. In one of her posts she talked about "Parking Your Mind." Park it on the Word of God and trust in Him. Trust His Truth He gives us.
She also said, "God's love is too pure for my family, my husband, my children, and me not to have our best interest's in His mind. She had a couple posts about fears and how we deal with them. By parking our minds....on Him alone. For we are nothing without Him.
Even though I don't understand things in my life and others right now....I will choose to say "Blessed be Your Name" and park my mind on this:
"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54:10
Love n Hugs...Laura
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