Infinite Grace

"If you live close to God
And His infinite grace,
You don't have to tell;
It shows on your face."

-anonymous

 

When I read this quote today it brought back a flood of memories.

9 years ago I decided to pursue my walk with Jesus. After attending and joining the church that I had grown up in all my life....I started hungering for more.

 

A deeper walk...a more intimate relationship. I wanted to go deeper than the "surfacey things."

I prayed...and prayed...and prayed.

And cried so many tears.

And prayed...and prayed...and prayed.

And devoured the Word.

I pressed in....I was so desperate to crawl thru the dirt and touch just even the hem of His garment.

 

I wanted to know this Jesus who had died on the Cross for me while I was still in sin.

Romans 5:8"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

I wanted to know what this love was all about.

 

I wanted to know freedom in the Cross.

 

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galations 5:1

 

I wanted to know about this GRACE and HOPE that was spoken of....but couldn't see it or feel it where I was.

 

 ^"You who are trying to be justified by the law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace.  For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope". Galations 5: 4-5

 

I wanted to be able to share with others the good news...but yet how was I to set the oppressed free when I was surrounded by depression and oppression everywhere I turned in my very own church??

¹⁸ “The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,

¹⁹ to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” Luke 4

 

 

I wanted to be away from the darkness that was surrounding me. I was desperate for JOY and light.

 

 

“Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.² See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you
and his glory appears over you.³ Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn.

⁴ “Lift up your eyes and look about you:
All assemble and come to you;
your sons come from afar,
and your daughters are carried on the hip.
⁵ Then you will look and be radiant,
your heart will throb and swell with joy;"

Isaiah 60:1-5

 

I was so tired of striving to please man and be "good enough."

I wanted to live my life for God...completely...not for man.

 

Ephesians 2:8-9
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

 

I wanted to be a part of this:

^"15 He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. ¹⁶ Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. ¹⁷ And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; ¹⁸ they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.” Mark 16

 

I wanted to live in the house of GRACE.

^"14 For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace." Romans 6

 

After 2 years of prayer....and that peace that passes all understanding....He led me to a new church family. Freedom happened over the weekend (and over the years).....just one little domino fell down. And as I finally began to learn what the Love of God really was all about.....as I began to know who my identity was in Christ...more dominos fell....one by one. I rested in His embrace of love

and I gave Him my whole heart.

I let go of those black and white blocks of fear, oppression, judgement, striving, and legalism.

 

I knelt at the foot of the Cross....and lifted my hands high as the rainbow of His love and INFINITE GRACE embraced me. I stepped out of the darkness and into the light.

 

No more fog.....no more confusion....no more heartache of who am I?

 

And as I walked back into my workplace that Monday morning...I will never forget the looks of my co-workers/friends faces as I walked thru the front doors.

You see...I hadn't changed my appearance yet. My "looks/clothes/hairstyle" was the same as it had been for many years. But my face....glowed with the make-up of this:

 

I knew who I was. A child of the King. I was good enough exactly how I was...a sinner.

I didn't have to strive to keep man's approval. I had the stamp of approval the moment Jesus shed blood on the Cross for me. I knew I was loved. I finally knew that I was clothed in the garments of joy and grace. I was forgiven. I was blessed. I was wanted. I was His.

 

To me...it all happened in slow motion. The clinic seemed to come to a stop as I walked thru those front doors and time stood still. All eyes were on me.

Then the questions started: "What happened?!?!? You look so happy!"

"Laura!! You are glowing!!! Did you meet a guy this weekend?"

"Laura!!! wow! You are shining! Who's the lucky guy?"

"Laura! There's something different about you! What is it?? Tell us! Tell us!!"

 

And I did...I told them all about the "the guy".

I told them all about my Jesus.

And His infinite grace.

 

"If you live close to God
And His infinite grace,
You don't have to tell;
It shows on your face."