Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Normal Marriages

"Of course marriage is hard. For heaven's sake, bring together a man and a woman-two creatures who think, act, and feel so differently you would think they'd come from separate solar systems--and ask them to get along for the rest of their lives under the same roof. That is like taking Cinderella and Huck Finn, tossing them in a submarine, and closing the hatch. What did you think would happen?

Now, while you are at it, toss into that constantly-in-your-face experience all our fears, our wounded hearts, our self-centeredness, our self-doubt, and our resolute commitment to self-protection. Good Lord. Anyone looking for undeniable proof in the existence of God need look no further--the fact that any marriage makes it is a miracle of the first order. Bona fide proof that there are forces in the universe working on behalf of mankind.

All those fairy tales about a boy and a girl who find themselves thrown together into an adventure in a dangerous land, and how they must come to work together if they have any hope of making it through, but they are both carrying a tragic flaw, an Achilles' heel that pricks the other constantly and they barely do make it through---those fairy tales pretty much have it right.

In fact, if you look back at the first marriage, that almost fairy-tale-like story in Genesis, you will see that Adam and Eve had a pretty rough go at it. And they didn't even have parents to screw them up as children or friends giving them ridiculous advice. My goodness, the fall of man seems to come during the honeymoon, or shortly thereafter. (and how many honeymoon stories reenact that little drama?) They hit rough water as soon as they set sail, poor things. If this is the story of the first marriage, it is a bit sobering.

But it also gives us encouragement, too. It is normal for marriage to be hard. Even the best of marriages."

~John & Stasi Eldredge.....Love & War

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