MONKEY STORY #729

We have this rule with the kids that food and drinks are not allowed in their bedrooms. Last night...I found a bottle of water hidden away in the girl's room. When asking them about it...Ellie gets big eyes and looks over at Aubrie. Aubrie gets big eyes, tilts her little head, puts a hand on her hip, and says with her best little know- it- all voice: "Well I have so many time- outs in my room that I decided its important that I need water when I'm in here!" I'm telling you friends...this chick might have a strong will with sassy pants....but she's going places! She is one beautiful, sweet, brilliant, creative, funny, talented, and huge hearted girl. She may be one of the reasons why I drink so much coffee and require sunshiney...tropical retreats once a year....but I'm over the moon in love with every bit of her blue eyed blondeness. She keeps me on my toes and praying big prayers to the good Lord above but she always always always keeps me smiling! Grateful to be her Mama!grateful to be her Mama!

What is LOVE?

 LOVE is when you feel like crap...look like crap...are still in your pajamas at suppertime... Standing at the stove....not an ounce of makeup on...wild crazy hair....smudged glasses sliding down nose and your man comes up behind you....puts his arms around you and says how absolutely beautiful you look. All right in front of our kiddos. THIS is love.

So grateful for this man who put up with so many years of me being a train wreck. For so long, I had not an ounce of self worth. I lived in constant fear of rejection and failure. I struggled with depression. I had trust issues. I let anger build walls around my heart. I let my emotions control me. Then one day....we reached rock bottom in our marriage. And it was then that I realized I had a choice. I could continue to be the person I was and lose the love of my life or I could let God love me, change me and redeem our marriage.

Words will never be able to express how grateful I am that my man never gave up me thru those dark years. Tonight...standing in the kitchen...I am grateful that I really truly know what LOVE is. That I waited for a man who loved Jesus first before me... when all I wanted as a teenage girl was to find a wild cowboy and ride away into the sunset. I am grateful that we made the choice to surrender all our pain, selfishness, pride, past hurts and say, "We need help...we can't do this on our own." We took our broken, shattered hearts to God... then we went and got counseling and because of that... our kids are getting to see a father love their mother. They are getting to see a husband love his wife. Our kids have seen us make so many mistakes when it comes to this journey of life. But our kids have also seen the beauty of transparency... apologies... grace....and new mercies every morning. Our story is so imperfect and messy...but this will forever be our perfect message:

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud  or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." 1 Cor. 13

I encourage you tonight if you are hurting...have given up on love...have fear.... or struggling? God is love. And love never gives up. He won't give up on you. LOVE never gives up. And don't you give up either. It's worth the fight. You have it in you even when you can't feel it, smell it, or hear it. You were born to love and be loved.  You are a warrior!!!

Sometimes our stories aren't what we thought they would be....but they are our story. We are the ones who decide how each page will read. Love is a choice. We can choose to hang on to all our pain or we can choose to give it to God. God is the only one who can take the broken pieces and put them all back together into a beautiful masterpiece. This is LOVE.

MONKEY STORY #728

My day in a nutshell:

Morning:
Aubrie: Mommy will you please come wipe my hiney. I'm having problems.
Me: Aubrie, you are old enough, you can wipe your own hiney now.
Aubrie: But Mommy...sometimes my arms just can't reach back there very far and I really can't see anything back there! That's a problem!
Me: Well, yeah, I think we all have that problem...just how long do you think I'm going to keep wiping your hiney for you anyhow???
Aubrie: {Complete serious face} Until I'm 16 or 17? I'll be driving a car then! So you don't have to wipe my hiney then.
Me: Dear Lord...give me strength for this blonde haired sassy pants child.

Afternoon:
Ellie: Hey, I just drew a picture of our house for Aunt Britney. Here's me doing my workout exercise that she taught me in the living room. Here's you, Mom....doing the laundry downstairs. Oh, and here's Daddy...he's sitting on the toilet in the bathroom.
Me: Um awkward?! Beautiful drawing honey...but maybe we should draw another picture for your Aunt Britney that doesn't include your Dad sitting on the toilet!?!?!?!?!?!
Ellie: {Uncontrollable giggling} Good idea Mom!

Evening:
Gabe: I really don't understand why men need little boobs things on their chest. Seriously...why Mom?
Me: Great question for God.

A Legacy

A little over 3 years ago, this was us. Our little family. I'll never forget that year. It was a tough season but yet it was full of as much joy as there was heartache. We were struggling in our marriage and financially. We had alot of days of "I love you, but I really don't like you." Jason was hardly ever home as he was working so hard at his job that required long hours with his students he loved so much. We had a 6,4, and 2 year old that saw him for very short moments on the evenings and weekends.

 One night, Jason came home and told me he was done. He felt God telling him to retire from teaching in the public school system. He had no idea what he was going to do next but he knew without a doubt it was the right thing to do. I remember thinking he was crazy...I was scared...and had so many doubts, but yet as I looked at my husband, I still remember God telling me this: "Laura....trust Me. And trust your husband.Follow him....allow him to lead you and your family. I have plans and purposes for your family and I will never leave you or forsake you at any time." So I did. I followed my husband and I trusted him even when I couldn't see what was up ahead. 

We did a crazy thing. We listened to God when the rest of the world thought we were nuts. And today? Today we are a changed family because of my husband. He was offered a job shortly after he walked away from his career. A job with an amazing company in a complete different field of work. A company that has been so good to my man. They have believed in him, had grace with him as he is learning, taught him so much, and have supported and encouraged him every step of the way. 

Today our family has been blessed beyond what we could ever imagine. The night my husband decided to be radical and take a leap of faith was the night everything changed for us. Today we are on the road to financial freedom....we are almost debt free....our marriage is rock solid (but not perfect)....and our 3 kiddos are experiencing what it's like to have a Daddy in the picture more than not. 

Can I just encourage you? Sometimes the journey goes a little bit different than we expected. Sometimes we have to take radical leaps of faith to see life changes for the better. But always? We have to trust God that He knows way better than we do. He loves us so much and His ways are so much better than our ways. I am so grateful to be where we are today.....all because one man wanted to leave a beautiful legacy of faith and courage for his family.

MONKEY STORY # 727

On our way home from the pool today.
Aubrie: Mommy? When I'm 19 you won't have to take care of me anymore right?
Me: Well, when you are 18, you will be an adult and can make your own decisions, so technically...yes!
Aubrie: Well, you won't have to take care of me when I'm 19 because I'll be making babies anyways!
Gabe:{With really big eyes} Uh.....did you just say you are going to be making babies!?!?!?
Me: Um....making babies? What do you mean by that?
Aubrie:{Rolls her eyes} Well, I'll just be making babies....I'll be married you know!
Ellie: Oh well that's good Aubrie....you can't make babies by yourself!!!!
Gabe: {With a "smarty pants boy" voice} Well what if you aren't married Aubrie?
Aubrie: {With a 5 year old know-it-all girl voice} Well don't you know that already? I can just adopt alot of kids! That's how I'll make lots of babies!!!
Love these crazy littles!

It's All Grace

At the end of a very much "Monday"...day after a long holiday weekend.....I'm done. I'm done being a Mama because this Mama stuff is hard. It's tough. It's challenging. It's frustrating. It's heart wrenching. It's time consuming.  It's mind boggling. It's craziness. It's draining. It's NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.
But there's these 3 amazing kiddos that somehow...despite all their shenanigans of hibity-bibity....somehow I keep falling in love with them. Somehow their giggles and cuddles....their smiles and THEIR GRACE. They keep me going. THEIR GRACE.....and the way they just keep loving their Mama despite all her mistakes and failures....it's humbling and overwhelming and mind boggling and crazy.
And that? THAT GRACE? It's Heaven sent... God gives these amazing littles grace when they are born....nobody tells them to have grace with others....they just do it. They extend grace...day after day after day. Because it's a chromosome they were born with. They don't know any better....they just give grace.
I'm learning from them....I'm watching and listening amidst the dirty dishes...the dirty baseball clothes...the sticky popsicle sticks....the stinky socks thrown in the middle of a room...the leggos not put back in their container....the water spicket left running for 2 days in the back yard....the bikes left in the driveway...the slamming doors...the bruised knees...the toilet seat left up....I'm watching and listening. And I'm learning.
That grace is unending....it's powerful...it's life changing..it's mind boggling...and it's crazy. And there's enough for all of us. These 3 littles are challenging me to keep extending grace to others...no judgement...just grace. It's all GRACE.

The Key

"God can do great things with our lives, if we but give them to him in sincerity. He can make them useful, uplifting, herioc. God never wastes anything. God never forgets anything. God never loses anything. Though He holds the worlds in the hollow of His hand, He will yet remember each of us, and the part we are fitted to play in the eternal drama." 

Never doubt why you are here...it is for a noble, eternal purpose as we give Him our life. Herein lies the key.

Dr Anne Robertson Brown Lindsay